She heav'd to; and he strak frae, As he wad nail'd the carlin thro'; An' ilka fart the carlin gae, It wad hae fill'd a pockie fou; Temper your tail, the young man cried, Temper your tail by Venus' Law ...

In his classic routine on the differences between football and baseball, George Carlin noted that the action on the gridiron is rigidly timed while the National Pastime is essentially timeless. "We ...