A happily married couple had only one major issue in their relationship: the husband’s morning routine of farting like a foghorn. Every day, his wife would wake up to the thunderous blasts, gasping for air as the noxious fumes made her eyes water. “Please, for the love of all things holy, STOP!” she begged him daily. “I can’t help it,” he’d say. “It’s totally natural!” She warned him, “One day, you’re going to blow your guts out.” The years rolled by, and so did his morning explosions. Then came